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When you're staring at a blank page or a

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blank screen, the biggest thing that you

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can do is just give into despair, give

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into blankness.

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People love to talk about writer's

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block, and they love to talk about

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writer's block because it sounds fancy.

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It sounds like a real thing. It also

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sounds like something that you can do

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nothing about.

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I have writer's block. I cannot write

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and it is the will of the gods. Now I

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must alphabetize my spice rack whenever

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you you can't do anything about it. And

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that of course isn't true.

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I have received long emails from people

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with writer's block and I'm going,

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"Well, if you had real writer's block,

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how can you how can you be writing me a

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long email?" And what they're actually

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saying is, "I'm stuck on the thing. I

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don't know what's happening. It's dead

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on the page."

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So, what you do is one

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start

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one step away.

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First thing to do if you're actually

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stuck,

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don't just sit there staring at the

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page, staring at the screen, staring at

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your keyboard, being angry. Go do

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something else. Chop wood. Go for a

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walk. Go for a run. Go for a swim. Go

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garden. Go play with small children. Go

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explore kittens. Go feed the chickens.

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Go do whatever it is that you can do.

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Two, come back pretending you've never

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read it before. The old pretend you've

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never read it before technique. Start at

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the beginning and read it through.

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Very, very often once you do that, where

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the story should be becomes obvious.

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Where you went off the rails becomes

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obvious. And you did go off the rails.

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The problem is always earlier. problems

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always earlier than the place where, you

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know, the car goes off the road and now

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you're stuck there. Um, you know, you

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actually took a wrong turning a couple

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of streets back or or a town or two

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back. So, but that's something that you

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can see normally if you just come to it

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and go from the beginning and come

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through, you're suddenly going, "Oh,

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well, hang on. Why are we with him

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anyway? She was much more interesting

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and and we should be with her here. It

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doesn't matter what happens to him. And

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so I abandon half a chapter that had led

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me down a dead end and go back. And you

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can do that. Nobody but you ever gets to

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read your first draft. Nobody but you

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ever needs to know that you got stuck.

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I think the biggest things when you are

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stuck that you can do and there's a

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whole bunch of things. The the biggest

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thing of all is remembering that you are

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stuck. Sometimes

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it's just you're being shallow.

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Sometimes you actually need to

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be a bit better than you are. Go a bit

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deeper. Get a bit more honest. Okay. Why

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have I stopped writing this? I've

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stopped writing this because if

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I have to go into it, it's a deeper,

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darker place. It maybe you've stopped

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because if you wrote that scene, you

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would be writing a scene you don't want

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to write. Well, why don't you want to

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write it?

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Why is it painful for you?

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What happens if you do write it? I

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remember with the Nancy Boys,

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I was about

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tiny bit about halfway through, maybe a

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little bit more. And I had one character

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going to see another character.

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And I had a plot that was running and

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everything was good. And then I suddenly

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thought, hang on, if she goes to see him

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at this point in the plot, he's just

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going to kill her.

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That's the most efficient thing for him

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to do. Then I thought, but I'm writing a

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comedy. People can't kill each other in

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comedies. No, there's there's no point

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in, you know, PG Woodhouse where Jeves

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picks up an ashtray and smashes it on

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Bertie Worers's head. You don't do that.

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That's that's wrong.

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And so I had to stop. And I did stop.

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And I stopped the book for a couple of

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months while I just thought about, okay,

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this is going to happen.

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What does that mean for the rest of the

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plot? Where does the rest of the plot

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need to go?

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How can something

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be a comedy? What what is the difference

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between tragedy and comedy? What is the

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difference between horror and comedy?

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And I started to think that actually

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really

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as long as each character gets what they

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need

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at the end of the story, it's fine.

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And

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that is something that I really tried to

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deliver on

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in an Nancy Boys. Each of the characters

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gets the thing they need, even the

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appalling ones. And sometimes what they

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need is appalling and sometimes what

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happens to them is appalling. But I had

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to be willing to follow that and I had

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to learn that and I had to stop

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and actually figure it out and replplot

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and recalibrate.

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And once I felt that I got it and it was

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part of me, then I started again and

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wrote it all the way to the end.

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I wrote a story once.

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It's a Hugo Award nominated story that

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was actually made into a movie called

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How to Talk to Girls at Parties.

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I was asked

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for a short story

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for an anthology

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of science fiction stories for young

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people.

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And I had an idea. Had an idea

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about an alien tourist.

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A girl from a another planet. And not

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just another planet and traditional

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alien, but somebody from almost a way of

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thinking that that is beyond what we

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thought.

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visiting Earth as a tourist and what she

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thought and her diary.

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And I wrote

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a few openings to this. I wrote a few

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bits

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and it kept dying on the page. It wasn't

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a thing yet.

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I was really interested in her voice.

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I was interested in this weird alien

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world, but it didn't feel like a story.

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It wasn't coming together.

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And I phoned the editor,

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uh, lovely man named Jonathan Strand.

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And I said, Jonathan, I'm really sorry

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that the story isn't going to happen.

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You won't get it in time. And Jonathan

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said, "Ah, that's a pity." He said, "You

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still have 24 hours to get the story

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in."

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and uh another writer and he named her.

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I'm not going to. It was Kelly Link had

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just written a story for him

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in I believe 12 hours

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and he mentioned that you know well

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obviously I'm really sad that we aren't

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going to get your story in but Kelly

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wrote her story in 12 hours

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and I went right

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and I took my notebook with those

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fragments

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and I thought I can't tell that story.

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it doesn't quite work. And I think it

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doesn't work because the point of view

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is wrong.

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I need a human point of view. So, I'm

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going to take a character who's

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basically me, age 16,

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and the idea

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is simply going to be

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it'll be a story. It's going to be

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called How to Talk to Girls at Parties.

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I know that. I don't know how I knew

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that. Normally titling stories drives me

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nuts, but this one I have this the title

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was there. I thought, okay, it's got to

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be called How to Talk to Girls at

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Parties.

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And it's going to be about what it's

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like

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when you're 15 going on 16

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and girls have suddenly become aliens.

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You know, five years ago, you all had

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scabby knees. You were all part of the

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same

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tribe of things. You were all kids

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together.

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And now you're 15 going on 16 and girls

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are something else. And they're wearing

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makeup and they they dress differently

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and they're they're a whole other tribe

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and they seem to know all these amazing

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secrets and they've headed off into

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adulthood before you.

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I thought I can tell that story

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and I can do it all at a party.

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And I can just have

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a character who's basically me

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wander around and talk to

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these aliens. And because he hasn't

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figured out how to talk to girls

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because he hasn't really figured out how

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to talk to other people and because he's

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definitely not listening to anything

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they say. If I get this to work right,

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they will be telling him all about their

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experiences

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coming here as aliens on this planet and

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he is going to absolutely fail to

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understand anything he is being told.

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And that was the story I wrote. And it

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took

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a day to write. I went down to the

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bottom of the garden with a blank

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notebook and came back that evening with

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how to talk to girls parties written.

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Um, I was able to take the bits that I'd

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done

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of the abandoned short story. Nothing

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actually turned out to be abandoned

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because those things I gave to uh

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the girls at the party.

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And I got to write a story that was

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actually about something. And it was a

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better story I felt actually than it

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deserved to be given the place it was

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written from, given the the need to get

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it written, given the crunch. But on the

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other hand, it's quite possible that

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that time crunch is really what focused

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me.

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the willingness at the end to just throw

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out what wasn't working, grab what would

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work, and put it in.

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They say that hanging concentrates the

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mind wonderfully. You're going to be

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hung. And uh missing that deadline

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suddenly felt like a thing that was a

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little bit like a hanging. I knew that

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I needed to concentrate and I needed to

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choose solutions that would work.

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So, when you're writing a novel, there

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are things that you know, and there are

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things that you don't know. But a novel

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is big enough that there are going to be

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a lot more things that you don't know

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going into it than things that you do

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know.

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Whether or not you write an outline or

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you don't write an outline, you are

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still going to be moving

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from point to point with a lot of things

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that you don't know happening on the

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way. Eel Doctoro

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said that writing a novel is like

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driving through the fog with one

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headlight out. You're trying to do it

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just with one headlight.

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You can't see very far ahead of yourself

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most of the time and you're creeping

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along fairly slowly, but you could get

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from New York to Los Angeles like that.

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You just have to keep going. So again,

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it's about it's about the forward

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motion.

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It's about going from the things you

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know to the things you know, walking

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slowly. And every now and again

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the mists will clear and you'll get a

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wonderful view of the valley on the

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other side of the town that you're

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heading towards. You know what's

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happening and then the mists will come

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back in again and once more you're

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creeping along. But that's how you write

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a novel or that's how I write novels.